I saw a future with him, I saw marriage with him..Nowhere in that equation did being a military wife exist
Alisha was in deep sleep. In her mind, all the sweet memories of her with Pavan was going on. Her subconscious was enjoying the movie running in her mind. Suddenly, there was a loud noise, waking her up. With her half opened eyes she looked on the other side of bed. Pavan was gone. She called for him, but there was no response. She got out of bed and looked into the house but found no signs of him. She then looked at the calendar and realized today was the date, His holidays were over, leaving her alone for an indefinite time again.
She walked around the house searching for the reason of the noise that woke her up. She went to the garden and everywhere in the house, finding everything normal in the house. A flower vase was lying around the garden and her cat filled with dirt was trying to escape the scene. She got angry on her cat for breaking the flower pot she and Pavan planted together. What was the use of the pot now??
“I wish I could stop the time and keep him with me forever.” Alisha said to herself.
The Love Story
She knew Pavan from the first year of her college. She was popular as she was the topper in her batch, where as he despite being a scholar was an introvert. They were good friends. One day Alisha was in despair when she saw him with some other girl. She was in love with him but she was testing him and wanted him to confess his love for her. However, he was waiting for right time to propose her. When she saw him with this unknown girl she confronted him about her feelings for him. He said that the other girl is his childhood friend and a neighbour. Alisha asked him how come he never discussed about that neighbour with her. That was the first time Pavan told her that he loves her and he purposely bought that girl to see whether Alisha gets jealous of her or not. He asked her if she would like to spend rest of her life with him? She accepted his proposal immediately and this is how their love life started. Everything was so perfect between them until that day.
The News of Seperation
Alisha was on her trip to Manali and she did not have a word with him since two weeks. When she finally met him, that day he was happy to see her but something within was bothering him. He looked nervous. She inquired the reason for his nervousness. Pavan told her that he has been selected for the Air Force and he has to leave for his training in ten days. Her heart skipped a beat. How come she didn’t know about this? He explained her it was always his dream to serve the nation and he was finally getting the chance to fulfil his dream. Alisha could just ask “What about their future?” He said, “Nothing changes between us, I still love you like I did and I know you love me too. I am sure that distance will not matter in our relationship as much as we love each other.”
Five Years Later
She recollects the lines of Pavan that distance does not matter. She has now started doubting the validity of the statement. He has completed his training and he is at a respectable post serving the Nation proudly. Is their relationship still the same? She really misses him as now they cannot talk overnight, sometimes not even for days and weeks together. He is not with her to support Alisha when she really needs him. He has also missed many important events of her life like the smile of satisfaction on her face when she cooked for the first time, the way she yelled out of joy when she got her first dream job, he was not even there when she met with that terrible accident fracturing her leg. Sq. Leader Pavan is always standing wholeheartedly at the border protecting the country. However, Alisha feels lonely without him. She is almost empty in his absence.
The Responsibility coming with the Promotion even for Alisha
Last time when Pavan came, she felt something is wrong with him. He is not the introvert shy person she knew. Many things have changed after he left. Alisha has been busy with her job and family. However, she never fails to visit his parents every Friday like she promised him. When Pavan came he was so happy he told her that he got promoted. She was happy for him but now with the promotion his mindset changed. He now expects her to be stronger too. He doesn’t hold the door for her. He doesn’t help her with managing her routine matters. He expects her to solve her problems that bothers her. She could manage it all before he came into her life but being a couple, it is delightful to have just a small support and that little support can do wonders. Same happens to all of us when we are so addicted of being happy that we never want to be sad forgetting it’s importance.
Meow… the voice of her cat bought her back with a thud from her thoughts.
She decided to end her loneliness and emptiness this time. She wrote “A Dear John letter” (A Dear John letter is a letter written, originally to a soldier overseas, by his wife or girlfriend to inform him their relationship is over, usually because the other has found another love, “for the Nation”) for Pavan and prepared it for posting.
Her subconscious stopped her and she asked herself as to what was she doing and to whom! She knew she could never face Pavan after this letter and how will he react to this?? She still loves him but she cannot live her life filled with guilt of not letting him know her feeling of emptiness. Practically, there is no fault of Pavan. He was just doing his job. Life of soldiers is tough. She just didn’t want to make it tougher for Pavan by forcing him to make special time for her.
She could not take this loneliness anymore. She could not live alone for the entire life. She knew Pavan was making her stronger so that someday she could bare the pain of losing him forever. However, the thought of losing Pavan made her emotionally weak.
She has prepared the letter but she is unable to post it. She says it’s an unwinnable situation for her because if she posts the letter she loses Pavan, if she doesn’t post she can’t stand this not always available, not helping version of Pavan. Even I can’t help her with this. Can you? Let us know in the comments that what she should do?