Those of you who’ve had cordial breakups in which both of you were happy at the time you broke up. You guys honestly agreed upon staying friends in a healthy, functional way while continuing to move on with their lives, you can ignore this article.
“And you don’t exist”
It sounds amazing the idea of JUST staying friends with the one you broke up. But let me define Friend to you in case you have forgot:
Friend noun – “a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection and enjoys being with.”
What? No dear, that’s not gonna happen. An ex is called an ex for a reason, particularly because you are crossing him or her out of your life. An ex is a curse from your past life, and having constant communication with that individual is neither healthy for your ex nor you.
Reasons? I give you plenty.
- You deserve to surround yourself with people who make you happy.
If your ex broke up with you and hurt you, talking to him will only remind you of that. And even if it were the other way around, there was a reason you thought he didn’t work in your life.
- Because you’re sending mixed signals.
Even if you are not, he/she would believe it that way. So its not moving towards friendship, its moving towards complicating things. And things were complicated so you guys broke off in the first place.
- They will never be real friends.
True friends talk about their personal lives with each other which is never going to happen in this case.
- Be a person of words.
Make a decision to go one way or the other, and then stick with it.
- Its all about emotions.
It’s so much easier to create a new friendship than to fix the past and then create a spark of friendship which is broken.
- Move on, Actually.
If you broke up because of incompatibility, character issues, hurtful comments or something else, why are you choosing to be friends with someone you’ve already learned isn’t good for you? Choose what’s good for you. There are plenty of nice people in this world.
- Stupid competition.
Even if you broke up from your end, you will miss them at some point of time. It’s natural to start to think in terms of getting over each other being some sort of ‘competition’. Trying to win this competition is irrational and stupid.
- Stop holding yourself.
Staying friends and seeing them move on (could be they are pretending, could be they are not) can be devastating and when this happens you WILL go back to the place you were an year before.
- Yes an ex can’t be your friend.
Stuff like “We’ll stay friends” is basically a verbal contract in which at your inside you mean “F**k you.” No, friends never do that.
- Because you are smart and strong enough to let this go.
Stop taking bullshits and give a damn.
You don’t need this friend. You’ve already ended things, so stick to your guns and tell them, “Sorry — I value myself and I want more than this. I don’t want to waste my time and effort constantly trying to correct an old pattern i have already discarded. I would better concentrate on more important things than trying to fix you. Goodbye.”